Secret Crush

i hv 2 use these few words carefully
so that they can convey to u what
i’m forbidden to verbalize directly
because i know that i will never get the chance 2
fully experience u

we can’t press palms together, fingers intertwined
there won’t b n e time
2 learn the distinct feel of each other’s lips
sense each other’s funk & fragrance
interests, joys, pains i am convinced
that this moment is fleeting
just like my feelings are supposed to b
since this is just a crush

& crushes don’t last, right?

of course not
they pass quicker than the words i let spill from my pen
in an attempt to purge my self of this brief thirst

they won’t last, these feelings
that’s what i tell my self when
ur smile invades my mind’s i
that and other lies like
i got so & so
i can’t let this crush compromise my commitment
& you hv him &
i prefer darker sistas n e way
w/ hair like – yeah

and like that crushes usually pass away

so 2 me ur too tall & skinny
too short too
big but so fine
i mean
i just won’t ever take the time to really dig deep into your mind
and get to know u

since crushes don’t last
they don’t

so i won’t even waste my breath
reciting to u this poem
even though ur hearing it now
seeing it as it peaks cautiously from behind my eyes
noticing its repressed agonizing moan in my otherwise
peace-filled, joyful tone
or viewing it scribbled messily in the corners of my smile
quickly
because

this crush can’t last I hope
that it will soon
fade away

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